Selinium. -

No mas.

How utterly sad it is,
that I have to feel like this
How completely tedious it must be,
to be forced to spend time with someone like me

2013-12-29 @ 08:35:21 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

I was human once..

The rain flows down the window in pace with the tears on my cheek.
I was human once.. although I can barely remember

2013-12-08 @ 04:43:32 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

I think... I might be Sailor Moon..

2013-12-03 @ 06:00:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

"Lost time is never found again"

Every little ounce of my strength, goes to my being alive. Not as in living my life, but simply to keep on breathing. I hardly sleep anymore, as it involves me and relaxation, which are two things that don't mix. I don't exercise, unless you count my round trips to the kitchen from the sofa, and back a few times each day. Sometimes from a chair, even. And you know, it’s weird. How the only thing we really don’t know we’re all wasting, or we just keep ignoring it, every day, is something we’ll never be able to get back. Time. Did you make some memories today? something you’ll look back on in 20 years and smile. No? neither did I. Just another day lost in time, wasted, blown away. It's tragic, really. I’ll die before I’ve ever really lived. I’m a curse, I am my own undoing.

2013-11-20 @ 03:47:13 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

As if you'd forgive me.

I think I'm even more broken than I was before. I don't dream, anymore.

But that's fine, 'cause at least then I don't have to see you every night.

I don't need your hugs, anymore, I'm fine without you here. I am doing, just fine.

Even though I still have your things out, as if you could walk right back where we left off.

As if you'd forgive me for leaving, well before you left for good. As if.

2013-11-07 @ 06:16:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Tata for now..

Me and my friend we have this kind of relationship where we call each other when we feel bad and need to complain to someone about it. Of course we tell each other happyish things too, occasionally, but they're not why we meet up. She's this kind of person who never judges anything I say, she tries real hard to understand and see if she feels the same way and if she doesn't, it's not a big deal.

If I tell her I'm having a bad day or even a bad month, she doesn't respond with;

"why? what do you have to be so sad about? there are people in this world who didn't even eat today"

Well, how do you know I did? you know. People don't know me and they keep pushing words and thoughts and feelings on me which I never actually said or even thought. They create this personality for me that I've never shown them, just because they think it fits.

She doesn't judge anything, and I'm gonna miss that most of all.

But as always, worrying won’t ever change the outcome, so I will let her go.. reluctantly,

even if I just might be worse off without her here.

2013-10-28 @ 03:51:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Hues of red and yellow and orange..

I wish I could see the beauty of fall
the undeniable romanticism of autumn

The shades of cold, slowly/steadily
sucking the life out of all things bright

How the leaves keep falling in circles
embracing the trees, in an attempt to say goodbye

And every year it ends in a beautiful sea of flames
hues of red and yellow and orange, as they refuse to give up

But I just see the sadness of bare branches
the loneliness of that one leaf, that just won't let go

It feels as though I'm stepping on corpses
and I hear their tiny skeletons, crackle under my weight.

2013-10-20 @ 07:28:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Pouring

This fall, once again, everything grew cold

The leaves left, and the trees became as bare and exposed as I feel

And just as expected, the rain came down to punish me for something I've long since forgotten

2013-10-19 @ 03:49:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

..There's a difference between dormant and patient

We'll see if they'll last more than a week!..

2013-10-06 @ 07:27:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

In to my own misery.

It's taking over, this darkness inside

filling every forgotten little bit of me

Turning me into something other

something I was never meant to be

2013-10-03 @ 07:07:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Sway with me.

I still compare you to the things I see, to things I can touch
how a blanket feels on my skin, how I traced my hand against the curve of your face.

The way the wind rocks the leaves at fall and how you always seemed to sway with them.

2013-10-02 @ 03:02:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Does that mean we really weren't?

Memories fall apart too, and just as everything else, they fade with time. They get altered to fit our vision of how it was, and how we'd like them to have been. Ultimately they get destroyed, and no one can carry them for us. But if memories is all we've got, all we are, then what's left of us after we're gone? I just wonder because someday soon, no one will even remember we were ever really here at all.. And does that mean we really weren't?

2013-09-28 @ 05:45:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Whisper

I remember that one time you kissed me, held my waist and kept whispering things in my ear and I can't for the life of me recollect what it was you said. I guess I was too distracted by your scent and how your fingers swept across the curve of my back and how they gently slipped under my shirt..
I forgot what I wanted to say with this, good night.

2013-09-23 @ 06:30:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

It's okay...

I can still feel the lingering touch of your lips locked onto mine
How lovingly you caressed my hair, how you stroked my neck and smelled my skin.
The way I tried to push you off when you tugged at my unbuttoned jeans

How they got stuck down at my feet, while you forced my reluctant legs apart.

I can still feel the slimy looks I got as I ran away, with a phone I took on the way out

How I fainted in the middle of the road, and how quickly He came and drove me home
I remember how He then stroked my hair, much the same way you did earlier, how He said; it's okay.
"It's okay, you don't have to lie to me"..

2013-09-10 @ 04:54:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

truth is for pussies

Oh and btw, it seems that I'm too shy to talk to you even in my own dreams.

2013-09-09 @ 05:15:58 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Waste of dreaming

I fall asleep and make my dreams come true

only to wake up just in time to watch them fall apart

2013-09-03 @ 04:34:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

It's as gone as you are

I'm in my room, but it's not your room anymore
and I want to search the city for you, the world, even though I know it's useless
I look at my clothes for the hairs you used to leave behind
but it seems that even they've left with you
and I keep searching for your smell, but it's as gone as you are

Maybe I will miss you forever and of course I'll follow you one day
and it might just be sleep deprivation that is making me cry a flood into

the hollow my collarbone gets when I'm hunched by sadness
And maybe, just maybe, I'm finally as broken as I used to think I was.

2013-08-19 @ 05:17:00 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

I will miss you forever and always
How terrible it is to love something that death can touch.

2013-08-19 @ 04:07:01 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Give me something to live for. Anything at all.

The colours of my soul won't flow as they used to. I can't paint, I can't move.

I'm mentally paralyzed and I'm not able to do anything but wish for something, anything.

Anything at all.

2013-07-22 @ 04:55:50 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Confessions of a Depressed Comic.

2013-06-29 @ 04:11:22 Permalink My words; Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

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Selinium.