S03.

"I have been watching my life. It’s right there. And I keep scratching at it, trying to get into it. I can’t.."

Frank O'Hara - Mayakovsky.

Now I am quietly waiting for
the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern. 

The country is grey and
brown and white in trees,
snows and skies of laughter
always diminishing, less funny
not just darker, not just grey.

It may be the coldest day of
the year, what does he think of
that? I mean, what do I? And if I do,
perhaps I am myself again.

<3


Potassium.

I'm seriously in love with this site.
And this dude.
Hahahhaha.

Iloveit.com


Girl in my study hall,

Yesterday I walked by the band room on the way back from lunch, and happened to see you playing an amazingly complex piano piece.  I watched you for a minute (in a non-stalkerish way), and saw all of the energy and heart you put into it.  It was astonishing.  Just last week I saw you in the same room, the same mood, but with a guitar.

I didn't know you were a musician.

 

Last week in study hall, you were writing choreography for the colorguard team (which, I guess you're on...huh...).

I didn't know you could dance.

 

Just today, I watched you in study hall holding up you're Advanced Calculus papers, with an A at the top.  Studying them, as if you needed the practice.  You furrowed your brow in concentration.  Only truly smart people do that, right?

I didn't know you were a freaking genius.

 

You are so perfect.  I can't even begin to compare to how sophisticated and hard-working you are.  I know you don't believe me when I say it, but you are BEAUTIFUL.  And all of those insecurities that you constantly point out in yourself...they're a part of what makes you YOU.

 

I haven't told you yet, but I'm an artist, myself. I paint, and not to be creepy, but I'm working on one of you. I can only hope to portray the many extraordinary features that you hold true.

What's not to love?

...Prom?

Yours, Jim from study hall

P.S. Sorry if this is weird...you don't have to say yes.  That's why I didn't put your name.

P.S.S. I would appreciate it if you did, though. ;)

P.S.S.S. To everyone else...I'm emailing her this link.  Wish me luck. :)

 

 


Confession #7.

When I think about the future, I literally fall apart.
I just don't know what to do, I don't know if I want to do anything, either..

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